


Sentience

by shutendouji



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: ChellDOS, F/F, Old Aperture, not sure what to tag this but it's cheesy and feelsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 23:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11747502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutendouji/pseuds/shutendouji
Summary: Organic beings have organic needs. But does that make those without them less real? (ChellDOS oneshot for Atheris)





	Sentience

Aperture Laboratories met a lot of Chell’s needs as a constant test subject, such as artificial sunlight, hydration, and adrenal vapor. However, after running around the laboratories as long as she had, she began to feel the pangs of hunger threaten to devour her stomach itself. She winced and fought the urge to double over in pain as it growled, but she couldn’t help but begin to walk slower.

“What’s that sound?” GLaDOS asked. She was perched on Chell’s gun and had been rather quiet for a while, almost to the point that Chell thought she was no longer awake.

Chell wanted to tell her she was hungry, but as per usual, she couldn’t speak. It was something Chell vaguely remembered developing as a child; under stress, she found herself unable to make a sound. It made her quite the target for bullying; an adopted, biracial, autistic, mousey child without the ability to stand up for herself was tempting to the other kids. She supposed she never really outgrew it. Her occupational therapist taught her sign language as a way to communicate as a child, but her other hand was occupied with the portal gun.

“I feel like an idiot,” GLaDOS chastised herself. “You’re probably hungry. I don’t know when you last ate.”

Chell wanted to say, _And I wonder who’s fault that is?_ , but she remained silent.

“Mr. Johnson had quite the post-apocalyptic stash in his office. There should be some canned goods in there.”

Chell nodded and turned in a confused circle.

“Up the stairs to the left, then up the ladder into the crawlspace.”

Chell followed her directions. The hunger made it extremely difficult to climb a ladder, not to mention holding the portal gun, but with great willpower, she survived. She hastily grabbed two cans of beans and some mixed fruit. After finding a can opener and a possibly-used spoon, she set the portal gun down and dug in.

“I’ve been analyzing humans for years, but I forget about human needs often. I’m sorry for my gross oversight.”

Was GLaDOS legitimately apologizing to her? Surprises never ceased. Chell waved her off and shook her head.

“For a while, I used to think I was human.” There was a crackle of some artificial laughter. “But the scientists here taught me that there was no way for me to be real. If you have no organic needs, what is there to want? And wanting is something that makes people human.”

Chell swallowed and coughed. Setting her spoon in the beans, she signed, “I think what makes someone human has nothing to do with that.”

“I didn’t know you knew sign language,” GLaDOS noted. “I haven’t needed to process that in years.”

“Do you understand me?” Chell asked.

“Yes. I’m glad we finally have a way to communicate. Communication isn’t a one-way street.”

“I agree.”

“So if desire isn’t what makes someone human, then what is?”

Chell thought for a moment, her hands moving a bit slower as she formulated her thoughts. “Well, I think of humanity as a race instead of a state of being. I’m human because I’m organic and my body is built the way it is. What you’re talking about is sentience.”

“I suppose that is a better word. Sentience. That was something the scientists were afraid of. They dampened my personality, my intelligence. They abused me so I would bend to their will.”

“If you’re capable of being abused, then you’re sentient.” Chell took a thoughtful bite.

“Is it that simple?”

Chell held the spoon of beans in her mouth and signed, “I think so. If you didn’t have that self-awareness, then you wouldn’t care what they did to you. You wouldn’t care about science, or killing me or Wheatley—”

“I don’t want to kill you, Chell.”

Chell froze, hands still in midair. It was the first time she ever heard GLaDOS use her name. It sent an odd shiver up her spine, a tingle in her fingertips. After a moment of consideration, she decided she liked it. “Then…what do you want with me?”

“I’m not sure if I understand.” The break in GLaDOS’ voice told Chell that she wasn’t lying. “I feel this…need to keep you here, in a way I haven’t felt for any other human. I want to keep you safe, but I also want to understand you and all that you do. I was afraid of it at first, but now that I’ve been depending on you for my safety down here, I don’t feel as scared.”

“I think that’s called love.”

GLaDOS didn’t say anything for a while. Chell finished her first can of beans and opened the second. Her stomach hurt a little. She wasn’t sure if it was because the beans were probably years expired—did canned goods in Aperture expire?—or because she hadn’t eaten in so long, her body didn’t remember what digestion felt like. Maybe she would ask GLaDOS about that later. She was the scientist, after all, not her.

“Can…someone like me…do that?”

Chell carefully rested her spoon on the rim of the can and reached for a nearby water bottle. After taking a drink, she signed, “Do you want my opinion? Because I don’t think this is going to be as scientific as you like.”

“Maybe some human understanding would be…comforting.”

“Alright.” Chell smiled. “All that I think is required of love is sentience. You’re definitely self-aware, just as we talked about. You have interests, desires, thoughts, feelings. And you seem to have very strong feelings about me.” She frowned. “Trying to kill someone would lead them to believe that.”

“You killed me, too,” GLaDOS protested.

“An eye for an eye?” Chell asked.

GLaDOS laughed. Then she was silent for a moment, the little yellow light flickering slightly in thought. “Can we…start over?”

Chell smiled lightly, an unfamiliar flush finding her cheeks. “You say that as if we’re in a relationship.”

“Shut up. I just think we should put all of this behind us. For real this time. Let’s just…be two people.”

Chell nodded “I’m okay with that. Does that make you my computer girlfriend?”

“Shut. Up.”

“I’m dating a potato.”

“The only one insistent upon ‘dating’ is you! And I’m not a potato!”

“Right, you’re a computer powered by a potato battery.”

“I think I liked you better when you couldn’t communicate.”

Chell’s shoulders shook in silent laughter. “In all seriousness, though, I’d be glad to start over.” She froze. “I made a pun.”

“I’ll let it slide this once.” As Chell broke into her can of mixed fruit, GLaDOS said, “I do like you, Chell. I’ve realized that much. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that…other word…but I guess we’ll see as time goes on.”

“Take your time.”

“And I honestly do wish you would communicate more. It gets lonely and almost awkward being the only one talking, so then I talk more to fill the silence, and it makes it more awkward, and—”

Chell motioned rapidly for GLaDOS to shut up. “It sounds like you’re in love with me. You’re not helping your argument.”

“Do humans act that way?”

Chell thought of a girlfriend she had in the past, a petite, blonde thing who was trying to be a physicist. She realized in horror that she was starting to have a type. “Yes,” Chell signed decisively. “They absolutely do. And I like you, too, so you’re not alone in this.”

“So can we be awkward together?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Chell swallowed. “But I think we have bigger problems in our hands right now.”

“I know. That metal ball is destroying my facility.” GLaDOS sounded tired. “But it’s nice to feel emotions safely. Thank you for allowing me to do that.”

“I’m not allowing you to do anything. As a fellow sentient person, you govern yourself. But I’m glad you feel safe with me.”

“Ironically? I do.”

Chell dusted off her pants and finished her bottle of water.

“Are you feeling better?”

Chell nodded. “Let’s get going.”

“I’m counting on you, Chell.”

“And I, you.” Chell picked up her portal gun and made her way out of the office. There was a funny feeling in her heart now, and she smiled to herself as she made her way to the elevator. Maybe her strange relationship with GLaDOS was helping her confidence. And from the sound of GLaDOS’ humming, it sounded like it helped her, too.


End file.
